We all live in a dynamic and complex network of family members, friends, classmates or project mates. I believe in most situations, we try to find ways to get along with each other and often to avoid conflicts. Personally, I do not like conflict and feel that conflict would often hurt the relationship between the two parties. However, whenever there is more than one person around, there bound to have different view and perception. Conflicts are inevitable and arise when there is a difference in a perception of the situation, even between two ‘bestest’ friends or even with our closest ones such as our family members.
I would like to share a conflict which my friend shared with me recently. Not long ago, he went on a YEP trip to Inner Mongolia. They have 25 people in the team and most of them do not know each other beforehand. Due to the differences in personalities, many conflicts arise during the course of the trip. In the team, there were three girls who were very close friends and known each other before they joined the trip. These three girls were too straightforward and they were rather insensitive in their words. They often voiced out negative opinions in a sarcastic way. Unfortunately there was this girl within the group whom they were not fond of and they often find faults and picked on her. To make the matter worse, they were not criticizing her discreetly but out loud in front of the whole team. The people who were more supportive of the girl started to speak up for the girl and all these lead on to much unhappiness within the team. Being one of the only five guys in the YEP team, my friend was placed in an awkward position and not knowing how to resolve the conflict. Eventually, their YEP was split into different cliques and the tension could be felt throughout the whole journey. As a result, this YEP trip became a not too enjoyable experience for him :(
If you were in his shoes, how would you try to resolve this situation?
I believe emotion intelligence(EQ) and communication skills are two essential skills to learn in dealing with interpersonal conflicts. Many a time, if one was able stand in the shoes of the others and see things in another perspective instead of insisting on own’s stand, a lot of misunderstandings and interpersonal conflicts could be avoided. A positive attitude, the tone in a conversation, effective listening skills, and focusing on interests and solutions, would help to get through the rough exchanges more smoothly. However, it is often easier said than done, it is always not easy to keep a cool and calm head to logic things out at “THE MOMENT”.
Lastly I would like to share a quote with everyone (:
“Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding.” ~ Albert Einstein
Personally I really like this quote and I find it very true. Conflicts are inevitable and I believe resolving them often takes efforts from both parties (: